Finding Love after 40

Older CoupleWhen you’re young and naive, it’s easy to fall in love. That’s because to be naïve is to be ignorant… and ignorance is bliss. When you’re young you need little more than a pretty face and a nice smile to keep you happy. But as you mature and gain the knowledge it means to be a happy and fulfilled person, you learn you need something more from a relationship than physical attraction.

When you’re forty, you have matured to a level you know what’s best for you. At the same time, you still enjoy relatively youthful good looks. So for some, this is the best time to be single. You know what to avoid to protect yourself from heartbreak, betrayal, and just downright incompatible people.

But the reason it typically becomes increasingly difficult to find love the older you get is it because it’s increasingly difficult to surrender more of yourself. You develop a degree of integrity you aren’t as willing to surrender as you may have once been. Your values and principles don’t have a price—as they once may have had—if it means compromising for another’s happiness.

As a much more mature being, you’re subsequently much more critical and judgmental. This closed mindset might just be a curse. You have a much smaller dating pool—naturally due to your limited age range—but also because of your selected criteria. But you can also consider it a blessing because you know what you want and are not willing to settle for anything less.

Written by Rabbi Lebow

Rabbi Lebow

Rabbi Lebow offers interfaith wedding services throughout the United States

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