Dr. Carmen Harra, a psychologist and relationship expert who works with the Huffington Post, is of the opinion that soul mates are found, not made. That’s not to say that life-partner relationships cannot be formed and even successful when the people involved are not soul mates, just that it’s a different experience.
Dr. Harra has put together a list of five characteristics that define soul mate relationships, as opposed to life-partner relationships.
First, partners who are soul mates may experience bouts of déjà vu or flashbacks. She believes that most soul mates seek each other out, in this life or one from the past and sometimes those memories break through.
Second, some people chalk up partners that finish each other’s sentences to simply spending too much time together. However, Dr. Harra believes this is the soul mate connection – a sign that two people are so in tune with each other that they can not only read each other, but also write each other.
Third, soul mate relationships generally stand the test of time more easily than life-partner relationships, as soul mates not only accept each other’s flaw, but also learn to love them.
Fourth, soul mate relationships are formed around compromise and unity more than life-partner relationships. This is a facet to be wary of, as it can sometimes lead to an “us against the world,” almost relationship-bubble mentality.
Finally, soul mates look each other in the eye much more often and with more ease than life-partners. Looking into someone’s eyes denotes a high level of comfort and confidence, so it’s not surprising that soul mates do it naturally.
If you’re ready to make it official, whether you believe you’re soul mates or life-partners, contact Rabbi Lebow at Atlanta Jewish & Interfaith Weddings. We’re excited to be a part of your big day.