Ways to Make Wedding Planning Stress-Free

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Paying BillsWhen your wedding day finally arrives, it is likely that you will be a little nervous, but that feeling will hopefully be overshadowed by your joy and excitement, not to mention the love you have for your partner. Most brides and grooms instead find that the planning process itself is where all the stress is, rather than the event itself. Fortunately, there are quite a few things you can do to reduce your wedding planning stress, and we’re here to give you some suggestions.

Before meeting with any potential vendors, make sure you do your research! There’s nothing more than booking time out of your day to meet with a vendor who won’t end up working out. Of course, you may speak with a few vendors that you decide to turn down, but don’t stress yourself out by meeting dozens of people in person. Check out testimonials, trade a few emails or phone calls, and wait until you’re pretty sure you’ve found the right person before moving forward.

One of the main sources of stress throughout the planning process is how much money you will be spending. You can make things easier by setting a budget at the beginning, and then finding locations and vendors that will work within your range. Don’t waste money on something you think will be great without shopping around. You may be able to find similar decorations, dresses, etc. for a far lower price point with a little research.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Every couple should put in equal work, because the wedding is about both of you. But your friends and family members are also there if you need anything. Of course, we realize you want to plan most aspects of the day without any input, but you can still reach out to loved ones in a pinch if you need something taken care of that you know they can handle.

Take advantage of these tips and try to enjoy the planning process almost as much as the wedding itself!

The War on Loneliness Wages On

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DepressionSome sociologists claim that we live in an era of profound loneliness or, let’s put it this way,

we live in an era where loneliness is as potent as an epidemic, something akin to an emotional bubonic plague affecting the countryside of our insides, tearing at the cornfields of our happiness.

It’s bad. Antidepressant usage in people of all ages is at an all-time high and with the continued rising prominence of social media; we are simultaneously connected and disconnected simultaneously. Scratch that – it’s worse than bad, it’s downright scary!

No man (and woman) is an island, as the famous poet John Donne once wrote, so what must we as a society do to somehow quell this high tide of loneliness? We must do something before it washes us away like a typhoon. Some inventive entrepreneurs are utilizing the technology we have in the fight against loneliness and, according to this Time article, the war is waging in Japan.

Rachel Lowry writes, “Some Japanese men are wooing girlfriends who don’t exist. While they can only interact with their partner through a pre-written script, these virtual beauties – Rinko, Manaka or Nene – offer a kind of instant emotional connection at the tap of a stylus. […] It’s one of Japan’s biggest gaming phenomenons called Love Plus – available on the Nintendo portable consoles and the iPhone.”

It’s a bit of an understatement saying that the game is a phenomenon; it is revolutionizing hearts for the better. The creators of the game were inspired to make it after looking into the problem of loneliness in Japan; many people who never get married,

“thirty-somethings who have accepted living alone instead of looking for love.”

These men (and women) are looking for a connection, anything to feel like they’re a part of the emotional world. As one man put it,

14116481_S“Well, you know all I want is someone to say good morning to in the morning and someone to say goodnight to at night.”

Sad, but at least this particular gentleman feels a little less disconnected because of the game. At Atlanta Jewish & Interfaith Weddings, we feel that everyone deserves to feel connected. Everyone deserves a shot at love, to feel like his or her heart is like a gigantic hill in the mountain range we call human. Remember, no man (and woman) is an island.

When Was the Last Time You Kissed Your Partner?

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11764810_SOne of the most important parts in keeping a relationship strong and healthy is kissing. We’re not talking about full-blown making out, but rather lip-to-lip contact that strengthens intimacy and waters the romance garden. We hate to use such a cliché imagery to prove a point, but a garden overrun with flowers is one of the best images we can conjure up in regards to a healthy, passionate relationship. We’re not delusional about relationships though; we understand that sometimes the world siphons off all your energy so that every now and again two people might need a boost. In our opinion, that boost often comes in the form of kissing – a peck here and there can go a long way in recalibrating a relationship. There is, however, one problem: kissing has changed over the last few years, as discussed in The New York Times.

After experiencing a powerful kiss on a Birthright Israel trip that left her heart fluttering, her knees weak, and her nerves electrified, Emma Court writes, “Mass media has a fascination with hookup culture among people around my age (21) meriting in-depth investigations and contentious opining about what it all means. But they often miss a simple fact: There’s nothing particularly new about trying to avoid getting hurt.”

Court’s right; it’s not so much a hookup culture, but rather a culture of avoidance. Intimately kissing someone is quite the opposite of avoidance, which means that Court was uncomfortable by the close knitted connection that her kissing experience made her feel; it was not a hookup, but rather a spiritual transformation. Think of kissing as a kind of antidote for the poison of avoidance in this culture. Court sums it up best: “It’s just that my generation has turned this avoidance into a science, perfecting the separation of the physical from the emotional. We truncate whenever possible: texting over calling, meeting over apps rather than in person. We leave in the early morning without saying goodbye. Being casual is cooler than intimacy and vulnerability. Or so we think.”

The kissing supercharged Court’s idea of what intimacy actually means and changed the way she viewed relationships with the people around her. That’s the power of kissing; it manages to override avoidance and strengthen your connections with everyone. Imagine what kissing can do for your own relationship.

Are Hopeless Romantics Really That Hopeless?

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18875858_SRomance…the word rolls off our tongue like a smooth pebble and hits the ground rolling. Sometimes it rolls a little too fast and we try chasing after it, but some of us don’t have the stamina or the luck. All we can really do is watch as it rolls off into the distance. For the vast majority of us who has seen that pebble of love roll off like that…well…it’s a little depressing and it makes us feel hopeless.

Look, I’m about to reveal a huge secret that might just rock your world and make you question everything you think you know. You ready? There’s a secret army in America, working in the shadows to make true love happen, an army of hopeless romantics – and while their numbers aren’t available, they are a lot larger than you or I could think. Are you a member of this coalition of the hopelessly willing? It’s not as bad as it sounds, as discussed in this Elite Daily article.

Dan Scotti writes, “Well, the hopeless romantic is no different from any other person with aspirations for a given circumstance, except, in their case, it’s love that’s desired. Hopeless romantics aren’t as much hopeless as they are, simply, hopeful. Personally, I don’t feel that people who keep faith in love are the ones whose futures look futile. They might get battered and bruised more than others, in an emotional sense, but that doesn’t mean they’re void of hope.”

Scotti argues that in the context of a hopeless romantic, hopeless doesn’t necessarily mean hopeless. Where some see hopeless, Scotti sees hope. After all, hopeless is a grim word, conjuring up feelings of depression and a lonely casket. It should never be paired with “romantic” or be associated with anything to do with the world of romance. Maybe it’s about time we take the word back, don’t you think?

When Planning a Wedding, Learn How to Compromise

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13925885_SNowadays the world we live in always seems split down the middle between this camp and that camp – Republicans and Democrats, straight and gay, old and young. We can go on and on when it comes to divisions in America, but here is one division you might not think of: detail-oriented people and the go with the flow people. It does not seem as severe a divide as the other groups we listed, but come wedding planning time, such differences between couples can be disastrous, such as was the case with Keith and Leslie Carpenter in Vancouver, WA, as discussed in this KATU News article.

Cory Marshall writes, “It was supposed to be the wedding they never had; 10 years since their informal ceremony in Reno, Keith and Leslie Carpenter spent the last year tediously planning every wedding detail. In their words, “We planned to have all our friends and family there that never got to do it. You know, this is what happened to me and here’s the photo of the cake and how it was represented to me and the rest was history.””

When they got their dream cake, it was far from a dream. It is as if the bakery did not take any of Leslie’s specifications into consideration. For a detail-oriented person like Leslie, this was heartbreaking. The entire wedding, in her eyes, was in jeopardy and it was too late along in the process to get the right cake, so the couple begrudgingly accepted the wrong one. Like with any grievances these days, Leslie took to social media to talk about her frustration. Thankfully, another baker stepped up to the plate to recreate Leslie’s dream cake. To continue the good news, a photographer volunteered to snap photos of them with it.

While their wedding was missing their dream cake, they got to make up for it. All’s well that ends well. If Leslie was so distraught over the details, there was a good possibility she would have cancelled the whole thing. Luckily, for everyone involved, the couple made a mature decision. This is a lesson for all couples planning their wedding: sometimes things do not work out the way you imagine. That should not deter you from the bigger picture.

Different Clocks for Different Folks

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22480536_SLove comes in all shapes and sizes, and every relationship possesses its own clock, meaning that only the two involved in the relationship know how to make it tick. That’s why relationships are so exciting – they take a lot of work, but when you find the right person and connect with the clock inside their chest, it’s as if all of time stops and it feels like you’re floating with your significant other through life, and that’s a beautiful feeling.

But like I said above, love comes in all shapes and sizes, and that means different strokes for different folks. Take for example recent news regarding superstar NFL quarterback Russell Wilson and his girlfriend, pop superstar, Ciara.

As reported in the Sporting News, “Wilson, a man of strong faith, told McPherson (a pastor) a story about telling a friend that Ciara was the girl we wanted to be with before he ever met her. The discussion about his personal life continued with Wilson explaining how he and Ciara plan to practice abstinence until they’re married.”

In Wilson’s words, “God told me to lead her.”

It’s no surprise that his comments have left many people scratching their heads. We live in an overly sexualized world, but at Atlanta Jewish and Interfaith Weddings, I believe that every relationship is unique and Russell Wilson’s situation is no different. Different clocks for different folks. What do you think?

With the Legalization of Same-Sex Marriage, We Are Entering a Real Summer of Love

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31298043_SWe did it! In a landmark decision that will surely change the face of these United States, the U.S. Supreme Court has legalized gay marriage. This means that gay marriage will be recognized in each and every state. At Atlanta Jewish & Interfaith Weddings, we couldn’t be happier. For decades I’ve been officiating same sex marriage because love is universal and everyone deserves a chance in exploring that wondrous land to the fullest.

Due to the life changing decision, people’s happiness were exploding into the streets, out of the cracks, into the interstates of social media, rolling down the information superhighway – #lovewins was trending everywhere, with even President Obama and the White House partaking in the celebration. No better did we see this than on Friday night when the White House was lit up in pride colors to celebrate the decision. Adorned in the colors of the rainbow, the White House suddenly became a symbol of love, a pillared version of an open heart in which everyone can walk in and feel loved. Isn’t that what America is all about? Isn’t that what the forefathers imagined when they broke away from that tyrannical crown?

Needless to say, this is exactly what America needs. It has been a rough time being an American. With all the inequality and violence sweeping the headlines, it’s nice to see something that lifts up the soul and makes the eyes water out of happiness. #lovewins needed to happen, because when #lovewins, we all win.

16638578_SWhen you think of the Summer of Love, what do you think of – maybe the year 1967, when people from all walks of life converged onto San Francisco to celebrate life and love? While that was a momentous event in America’s history, representing a paradigm shift from the turtle necked fifties to the socially liberating sixties, and into the neon seventies, I don’t think we’ve seen anything yet. Given the Supreme Court’s decision regarding same-sex marriage, I believe that we’re truly entering a Summer of Love, the likes of which has never been seen in this country.

Now that gay marriage is recognized in every state of the union, people will be rushing to get married, to at long last solidify the feelings that have been in their hearts for years. With such momentum, love will be taken to new and exciting heights. Take, for example, this heartwarming story that was making the rounds on social media the other day. Jack Evans and George Harris, 85 yr old and 82 yr old respectively, were finally legally married after 54 years together. How beautiful  is that? They were also the first same-sex couple to be legally married in Dallas County.

Some of the comments on Facebook provide an almost-gospel for 2015’s Summer of Love. One comment, “how can anyone hate this, this is the cutest thing ever. these men loved each other way back when their love was forbidden.” Another, “AFTER 54 YEARS TOGETHER! JUST NOW being able to marry legally! God love them. And He DOES!” Another, “I don’t care if you’re two humans or two plants. If you’re still in love and together after 54 years you should be able to be legally married! I’m so glad they were able to make it happen before these two died of old age!”

Let the Summer of Love begin! It will be one for the record books.

 

The Memory of Leo Frank Burns in America’s Heart and Brain

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11164570_796136343813856_7583764035314947052_nIn these times of somewhat growing equality in the United States, with gay marriage slowly becoming a more recognized and accepted idea in most segments in the country, we seem to be living in the most equal of times. This of course is exciting, but it’s a case of two steps forward and one step back as we see rampant inequality in places like Ferguson and Charleston, which results in the most heinous of crimes. My heart grieves for Charleston and the people affected by that gross tragedy.

What gives America? What’s your problem? It seems we’re on a surreal seesaw, certainly a mix of hopefulness and tragedy. It is times like these that it’s beneficial for us to remember the people from the past who have helped us get to where we are, people like Leo Frank. His story must not go untold.

Leo Frank was a Jewish man lynched in Cobb County, GA in 1915, the last image of him being “dressed in only a nightshirt, his neck broken by the noose, his lifeless body dangling from a tree as townspeople rejoiced.” That image became an iconic illustration of Southern anti-Semitism and hatred.

Why was Leo Frank lynched?

Well, he was “convicted” of murdering a 13-year-old white girl who worked in the factory he managed. The murder and subsequent case was a melting pot of class, race, and religious conflicts, and is an ugly example of America’s turbulent history. Anti-Semitism played a gigantic role in his lynching. He was wrongly treated and judged throughout the entire process, and is an example of a justice system that is flawed and ripping at the seams.

I have spent the past several decades doing my best to raise Frank’s profile and to secure a much-deserved pardon. Again, his story must not go untold and his good, wrongly accused name must not go unpreserved. My efforts, along with several others, have succeeded in erecting two plaques on the side of an office building closest to the believed site of Frank’s lynching.

Unfortunately, the majority of Atlanta’s Jews (and that of America’s) do not know the story of Leo Frank. In fact, Americans in general (regardless of religion) do not know the story of Leo Frank. His lynching re-energized the Anti-Defamation League, which went on to become (and continues to be) the most important American Jewish organization in the country, battling bigotry, intolerance, and more.

The memory of Leo Frank burns in America’s heart and brain, because it’s a question we all struggle with on a daily basis – is America more equal than it was yesterday? Or is it slipping down the slope toward bigotry, class warfare, discrimination, and more? It’s a struggle that keeps some people awake at night as they look out onto the city or town they live in, and that suffering, so covered up during the day, sounds as if it’s screaming into a megaphone. It’s a blast to the heart that can knock anyone off their feet. Many times in my own life I have felt that rushing wind of intolerance and many times I have been knocked off my own feet. None of us should ever be knocked off our feet.

It’s a crisis that pounds us into submission with each breath we take. Every time we turn on the TV, we are bombarded by horrifying news stories that breaks our hearts and crushes our spirits. While there are a few bright flowers in this garden of darkness, such as more tolerance for homosexuals and their quest for marriage, the darkness is gaining momentum – poisoning young minds and seeping into every crack in our society. There are riots on the streets, cops and civilians going head to head, churches where prayers are noised out by gunshots. There is suffering everywhere we look and the memory of Leo Frank burns in America’s heart and brain.

Where do we go from here? Keeping Leo Frank at the forefront of our minds, I would like to see an age of love entering the American consciousness, where people do their best to try to understand one another, to look one another straight in the eye and say “I want to know what makes you tick and if you’re not ticking, let me know what I can do to make you tick.”

It’s all about opening up one another’s heart, using good-natured hieroglyphics to decipher our deepest dreams, our deepest desires, our burning hopes for the future. Let’s do that. It’s what Leo would have wanted.

 

The Importance of Smiling on Your Big Day

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Marraige Equality Jewish Lesbian RabbiIt’s the day you’ve waited for your entire life. You’ve found your partner in eternal love, the food has been tasted, and the vows are perfectly crafted for a lifetime of happiness. It’s time to leave all that stress of the past few months behind and walk down that isle with a smile that says forever upon your face.

At Atlanta Jewish & Interfaith Weddings I am here to give you the confidence to feel every laugh, to be well prepared, and smile when that final “I do” is spoke.

Happiness is trending, just ask wedding photographer Bre Thurston from The Huffington Post. “You’re head over heels in love with another person and you get to spend the rest of your life with them. Celebrate that, feel that. And laugh.”

Atlanta Jewish & Interfaith Weddings knows how important it is to feel like your wedding is trending. From our first meeting to the ceremony itself I strive to create a trend of happiness that will last a lifetime. Everyone deserves equality when it comes to love, no matter what the circumstance. I promise to show you the dedication and commitment you deserve to have you smiling throughout your big day and for life.